Training in Martial Arts brings all kinds of personalities into the gym.  Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu is no exception.  When pairing up with a partner for drilling or rolling, you will likely have conversations.  The majority of the time, you will hear normal discussions of training, lives and experiences.

Occasionally, though, you will hear things you wish you hadn’t heard.

10.  “I’ve been training UFC..”

As televised fighting becomes more and more main stream, more people are finding Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.  Some of them are only stopping by your BJJ class to sharpen up their backyard UFC training skills.   These are often people who value spazzy super fast movements, flailing flopping attacks, and complaining whenever a technical ground match starts to develop in a MMA event.

9. “You wash your gi after EVERY class?!?!”

Yes, and from the smell of you, sir or madam, you do not.   Nothing gives me the heebie jeebies like hearing that a gi has not been washed after training.  Yes, I said heebie jeebies, that’s how real things just got.  Do you have any idea what’s crawling in that unwashed gi?  This literally make me shudder.

8. “You smell really nice.”

There is never a time when it is appropriate for one training partner to tell another training partner he or she smells really nice.  Especially not in a creepy hushed whisper.

7. “No leg locks, ok?”

I don’t get why some folks think it’s ok to say this.  I tell you what, I won’t do leglocks, if you won’t do any guard passes.  If you are excluding an entire branch of submissions, what’s next?  Forcing your partner to work off his or her back?

6. “Can you work off your back only?”

Oh wait.  Yeah, this happens too.  I’m a big guy, I’m over 6’4″ and I definitely out weigh you.  Sure, I’ll ONLY work off my back.  That’s totally cool.  No, you know I understand I’m a big guy and it’s not fair for me to use my top game…ever.  Sheesh.  You know the real kicker here?  The few females I train with have never ever said this to me.

5. “Wow, you’re really strong! How much do you weigh?”

This is one of the most deflating things to hear your training partner say. Especially, after really working for a technical submission that you just so happen to be working on religiously over the last month.  When you are of the larger size, you expect to hear this.  When it gets funny is when I hear people say it to instructors or upper belts..who are usually 100lbs+ lighter than myself.

4. “Watch out for my Knee/Shoulder/Ankle/Knee.  It’s injured.”

This one is tricky because yes, if you have a tender joint or slight injury, you definitely should tell your training partner.  This is to avoid them cranking a submission on it.  However, if you are so injured that the affected area needs to be avoided altogether, you’re better off just skipping the rolls.

3. “Let’s roll light” *Proceeds to go balls to the wall intense.

There is nothing wrong with asking your training partner to go light.  Listen though, if you say that and immediately switch on the Hulk power level jiu-jitsu, you have failed on levels I can’t even describe.  If you say “let’s go light”, then roll light and easy, ok?

2.  “Does this look like MRSA/Ringworm to you?”

I.am.not.a.doctor.

You.do.not.belong.on.the.mats.

Carry.yourself.to.a.physician.immediately.

Do.not.come.back.without.a.doctor’s.note.

Seriously.

1. “I’ve got this rash that just won’t stop itching.”

See above.  The only rashes I want to talk about are fancy new rash guards.  If you have a rash, I don’t want to know how you got it, where it is on your body, or that you have a slightly cheese smelling discharge.  Please, do us both a favor go see a doctor.  Now.  And do every training partner everywhere a favor by staying off the mats until you have the ok from your doctor.