7.You will end up with hair all over your body. 

No, I don’t mean you will grow hair all over your body.  Jiujitsu is not a growth hormone.  You will just end up with other people’s hair all over your body.  I don’t just mean eyelashes and stray strands of head hair.  Hair from ALL OVER people’s bodies, will be ALL OVER YOURS.

6. The smells.

We’ve touched on the importance of washing up before and after BJJ classes, but let’s face it:  not everyone is going to wash and some folks smell even when they do.  And the closeness of the sport puts you in smell def-c0n 4.   Even when everyone smells dandy fresh to start, just wait about an hour.  Once the sweaty, grunty, hotbox of a gym gets going, you’ll swear someone was baking bread or feet next door.

5. The north south position brings with it the unholy combination of crotch and face.

Ahh, North South.  The 69 of Jiujitsu positions.   It’s bad enough to have someone’s crotch sitting on your face.  It’s a difficult position to escape.  And if you read #6. above, then you know this gets dodgy quick.  I’ll let you do the math.

4. You will start using the lingo, and secretly despise yourself for it.

Jits, seriously?  I hate that term.  We don’t need to shorten EVERYTHING.  BJJ is short enough.  It’s one letter shorter even.  And Jits just sounds stupid.  “I got Jits tonight” just sounds like you have problems that only a doctor can help.

If this was basketball and we all just called it bask, someone somewhere would stand up and DO something.

3.  You will never be able to train enough to be satisfied with your amount of training.

Ask any BJJ practicioner how often they train and they will tell you.  And they will also usually include the following words “not as much as I’d like to”.  In 4 years, I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who has said “yeah I train exactly as much as I would like.

2. Most BJJ Gyms offer the first class for free

Sound familiar?  If D.A.R.E and PSA’s taught me anything as a young lad, if the first hit is free, it’s probably addictive.  You have been warned.

1. You keep getting better.  And so does everyone else.

One of the best/worst/best things about BJJ is that when you train you get better.  This means you can pull off sweet sweeps and hit transitions like the fabled Mad Transitioner! (trademark from Marvel Comics pending, green spandex costume with white accents)

*I don’t really mean you will hate BJJ.  C’mon, you can’t help but love it.

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